It has been a year since Sam walked into the river and out of our lives. I still think about him every day. I talk about him to others very often. Other people often avoid talking about him to me and even go as far as avoiding me. I have had family members who no longer talk, call, or write to me since his death. Friends came in droves to his funeral but have evaporated since. This is not how I wanted things to be. I want his life to have made a difference. His death was tragic. All suicides are and should not be ignored. People who are uncomfortable in hearing about a person who died via suicide need to understand that the family member may need to talk. The simple platitudes and smiles while people walk away hurt. Some people have just said, "We are praying for you" yet never think to call, or take other actions. That is ok, they were not active in our lives before. I guess I just wanted to feel less alone in my grief. God has placed new people in my life.
The reason to talk is to learn from his experiences. Suicide shatters those left behind. There are better treatment alternatives. Learning to talk about what is going on and seeking help is possible. You may believe that there are no alternatives. The truth is that tomorrow is a new day and there is help for you. IF you do not believe the doctors are helping, speak up for yourself. Tell someone. Do not keep the pain inside. You are a valuable person and other people will miss you.
Sam's art told a story that still resonates. I am trying to use his art to keep his story going.
